Editing Grigori Rasputin

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

CHORUS

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.
"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said "I am fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...

==Biography==
The son of a peasant, Rasputin joined a monastery as a novice at the age of sixteen. As the Orthodox Church established hegemony in Russia, various dissenting sect groups emerged, among them the Khlysty. The Khlysty were supposedly founded in the seventeenth century by Daniel Filippov. They deviated from Orthodoxy in numerous ways. Several different splinter groups developed through the nineteenth century and by the beginning of the twentieth century the Khlysty numbered approximately 65,000 people.

Rasputin came into early contact with the Khlysty, though it is unclear just how dedicated a member he had been. Rasputin married around 1890, but his first son died when only six months old. The tragedy sent Rasputin to a strange hermit named Makary, and subsequently Rasputin became absorbed in scriptures, prayer, and meditation. One day he saw an image of the Virgin in the sky, and Makary told him, "God has chosen you for a great achievement. In Order to strengthen your spiritual power, you should go and pray to the Virgin in the convent of Afon."

The convent was at Mount Athos, in Greece, two thousand miles away, but in 1891, Rasputin made the pilgrimage on foot. Later he made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, traveling across Turkey. For the next few years he became a wandering staretz (lay priest). He was widely believed to possess occult power, which made him both loved and feared. He manifested gifts of healing and prophecy. In 1903, he traveled to St. Petersburg, where he met influential churchmen, including the monk Illiodor, who later became a hateful rival. Rasputin's reputation as a prophet and miracle worker spread widely, and he was sought by rich and poor.

In those days, Russian court life and high society were still strongly attracted to the marvels of Spiritualism which had been introduced in the 1860s by Alexander N. Aksakof, and any wonder worker was in great demand. Soon Rasputin came to the attention of the czar of Russia to whom he became an indispensable adviser and healer to the royal family.

Surrounded by the madhouse of tyranny, [[secret police]], bomb plots, crippling wars, and the ruthless suppression of liberty of the Romanov empire, Rasputin, self-absorbed in his own sense of destiny, towered above the sycophants, bureaucrats, and plotters. He treated the czar and czarina with complete familiarity, and they welcomed Rasputin because of the healing powers he supposedly possessed; he seemed to be able to treat the couple's only son, Alexis, who was a hemophiliac. In 1911, tiring of court life, he undertook another pilgrimage to the Holy Land, and during his absence his enemies intrigued against him. In the fall of 1915, when the czar left to take command of the Russian army, Rasputin took on more power as the czarina's chief aide. Rasputin forced many of the cabinet ministers to resign, and he replaced them with his cronies. His enemies, headed by Prince Yussupov, felt he had taken on too much political power and planned his murder.

The day before Rasputin was killed, Czar Nicholas requested his blessing and with curious presence, Rasputin said, "This time it is for you to bless me." Yussupov invited Rasputin to his palace and persuaded him to eat poisoned food and drink poisoned wine. The poison was ineffectual. Thereupon the treacherous Yussupov sang gypsy songs and played the guitar before leaving the room and returning with a loaded revolver, shooting his victim in the back. Other conspirators rushed in clumsily, accidentally switching off the room light. When the light was switched on again, Rasputin appeared dead, but was still alive. Another conspirator shot Rasputin again; the body was dragged from the house and battered with a steel press. But Rasputin was still alive when he was pushed through a hole in the ice on the River Neva. And although his wrists had been bound, he had still managed to free his right hand and make the sign of the cross before drowning. He died December 30,1916.
[[Category:Important]]
[[Category:Misogynists]]
[[Category:Rapists]]
[[Category:Deceased]]
[[Category:Posthumous]]
[[Category:Russia]]
[[Category:European Villains]]
[[Category:Male]]
[[Category:Fanatics]]
[[Category:Power Hungry]]
[[Category:Dark Priest]]
[[Category:Delusional]]
[[Category:Murderer]]
[[Category:Psychopath]]
[[Category:Emotionless Villains]]
[[Category:Mastermind]]
[[Category:Extremists]]
[[Category:Chaotic Evil]]
[[Category:Thief]]
[[Category:Liars]]
[[Category:Wolves in sheep's clothing]]
[[Category:Brainwasher]]
[[Category:Sadists]]
[[Category:God Wannabe]]
[[Category:Heretics]]
[[Category:Mongers]]
[[Category:Master Manipulator]]
[[Category:Internet Memes]]
[[Category:Faux Affably Evil]]